Year 52: BRING IT!

I had been feeling a bit out of sorts lately. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was, or what was causing it. I just seemed to be in a very bad mood daily. (Yes, Karol, more ornery than usual. Thanks for asking!) A chronic waking up on the wrong side of the bad, oops, bed. (See, right there, even my fingers are possessed by evil).

The other day someone said something I didn't agree with.  (I don't even remember what it was about it, or even who said it). Totally innocent something.  But TOO late for them. And I'm like, WHAT?  WHAT did you SAY?  On no you DITN'T! Come  a little closer will you so I can JUMP DOWN YOUR THROAT!

And then everyone is looking at me like I'm THAT bat-shit crazy person. You know what I'm saying: the stolen glances at the person next to them,  the hesitant, carefully chosen next words, and then the slow backing away, as you are left standing there - bug-eyed and red-faced.

And, then it dawned on me.  I know what this is.

Remember that movie "Steel Magnolias"? Where the Shirley Maclaine character Ouiser says "I'm not crazy,  I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years!"  In other words, old-lady-cranky-pants.

B.I.N.G.O.  It is official I have entered the madness! And chances are, I'm just getting started! WOOT! 

Here are my distinct symptoms: Cranky. Crabby. Grumpy. Cantankerous. Crotchety. Grouchy. Irascible. Irritable. Ornery. Vinegary. Acerbic. Acid. Angry. Caustic. Bad-humored. Bearish. Choleric. Cross. Disagreeable. Hot-tempered. Ill-humored. Mean.  Quick-tempered. Ratty. Snappish.  Astringent. Belligerent. Biting. Bitter. Churlish. Cross. Cutting. Irate.  Mad. Petulant. Sarcastic. Sharp. Spiteful. Tart. Testy. Wrathful. Crusty. Ill-natured. Huffy. Obstinate. Petulant. Prickly. Quarrelsome. Snappish. Sour. Stuffy. Testy.

I'll stop with these 52 words. There are more. Many more. Many, many, MANY more. But, I have decided to save the others, and add a word each year to the list. It will give me something to look forward to in my old-lady-cranky-pants-lonely-because-no-one-can-stand-me-meaningless-life.

So, yeah. 

Year 52. 

That's right. 

It's my 52nd birthday today. That is what I was originally suppose to be writing about. It was going to be something sentimental and meaningful. I was going to have my picture taken in the style of my grandmother Phoebe, (See HERE and HERE), one of my bucket list items (HERE). And then write about how she inspired me, her life, my life, blah, blah, blah. 

But then my sister didn't like what I picked out to wear.

And then she made some innocent wardrobe suggestions.

And, of course,  those clothes didn't FIT! (And I don't mean they were TOO BIG!)

And then I over reacted in my old-lady-cranky-pants way.

And then I said "F-It",  Just take the G.D. picture!

And then she carefully said "o...k...", while slowly backing away.

So now, I don't want to write about being 52 anymore or the pleasant spirit of my grandmother Phoebe.

It bears repeating, I am: Cranky. Crabby. Grumpy. Cantankerous. Crotchety. Grouchy. Irascible. Irritable. Ornery. Vinegary. Acerbic. Acid. Angry. Caustic. Bad-humored. Bearish. Choleric. Cross. Disagreeable. Hot-tempered. Ill-humored. Mean.  Quick-tempered. Ratty. Snappish.  Astringent. Belligerent. Biting. Bitter. Churlish. Cross. Cutting. Irate.  Mad. Petulant. Sarcastic. Sharp. Spiteful. Tart. Testy. Wrathful. Crusty. Ill-natured. Huffy. Obstinate. Petulant. Prickly. Quarrelsome. Snappish. Sour. Stuffy. Testy.

And, so, this old-lady-cranky-pants has just one thing left to say - a personal message to old father time, who has stolen her youth AND her good humor: